foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

(via andinthemeantimeconsultabook)

(Source: irlziall, via andinthemeantimeconsultabook)

batsonthebrain:

nanner:

matafari:

shewolfs:

#THE BIGGEST ‘FUCK YOU’ IN THE HISTORY OF GAME OF THRONES

#good thing winter is coming #gonna need some ice on that burn

And Tyrion’s just like “Respect.”

If anyone can appreciate the value of a well delivered backhanded compliment, it’s Tyrion.

(Source: robbstark, via teenytigress)

misty-tears:

awwww-cute:

Moment of bravery at the vet

THIS LITTLE MUNCHKIN OH LORDD

misty-tears:

awwww-cute:

Moment of bravery at the vet

THIS LITTLE MUNCHKIN OH LORDD

(via abreezeinthedoor)


22/50 pictures of Patrick Stump

22/50 pictures of Patrick Stump

(via tiffanyscrews)

disgustinganimals:

darthmoonmoon:

omgf the skunk

the skunk is definitely problematic, but I’m more bothered by that owl’s hat.

(Source: todaunafriki, via punkmerm4ids)

"I’m getting bad again but I’m too tired to care."

(via psyxchotic)

(via alyssalovesyourface)

autumnraining:

CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO APPRECIATE AN ACTUAL LINE FROM A FALL OUT BOY SONG:

“Anything you say can and will be held against you so only say my name”

IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S SMOOTH AS FUCK YOU CAN GET OUT OF MY FACE CAUSE THAT’S A SWEET-ASS PICKUP LINE

(via alyssalovesyourface)

tarynel:

karkats-vantasies:

gildings:

I love boys who have massive, throbbing vocabularies. 

I love girls who have clean, tight grammar

I like big dicks.

(via better-feared-than-loved)

jonsnowhite:

The Marauder’s Map is lasting testimony to the advanced magical ability of the four friends who included Harry Potter’s father, godfather and favourite teacher. The map they created during their time at Hogwarts appears to be a blank piece of parchment unless activated by the phrase: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good, a phrase that, in the case of three of the four makers, should be understood as a joke. The ‘no good’ of which they wrote never denoted Dark magic, but school rule-breaking; similar bravado is evinced by their use of their own nicknames on the map (‘Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs’).

The magic used in the map’s creation is advanced and impressive; it includes the Homonculous Charm, enabling the possessor of the map to track the movements of every person in the castle, and it was also enchanted to forever repel (as insultingly as possible) the curiosity of their nemesis, Severus Snape.

(via andinthemeantimeconsultabook)

hippy-mentality:

Pup holder

hippy-mentality:

Pup holder

(Source: awwww-cute)

bunnyfood:

(via lawebloca:via:youtube)

bunnyfood:

(via lawebloca:via:youtube)

(via poopcop)

lvegotadarkalley:

i love fall colors and fall drinks and fall activities and fall weather and fall clothes but most of all i love fall out boy

(via individuality)

actionkatze:

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive. (x)

actionkatze:

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive. (x)

(via tiffanyscrews)

barackobotm:

the american school system 

image

(Source: poodlepunk, via unlawfully)